Pink Piggles
by Rugged Alphonse
Summary: Ash and friends are taking a break at a Pokemon Center... and somehow, the events that unfold makes everyone a little more or less crazy. Crack-fic!


Warning: May contain mild violence, suggestive language, coarse language, and French language... maybe... Wait- no, there's no French. Bonjour! There we go. That's better.

/AN/ This was originally written by my sis and I while playing a game of Round Robin. It's quite fun, since all you do is write a sentence or two then pass it along to the next person! But... it was quite a few years ago, and it totally lacked any describing paragraphs, so I edited it a little. Enjoy!/AN/

One day in Viridian City our heroes Ash, Misty, Brock, May, and Max were taking a break from their journey at the Pokemon Center. They were having some brunch which included honey covered ice cream that could totally give you a sugar rush and eventually make you have a build up of sugar in your bloodstream and scratching up the walls of your veins and arteries. The only one that wasn't having fun was Misty, who swirled her spoon in the deathly concoction.

"I wish we had some pink piggles here," Misty sighed matter-of-factly.

"Huh?" Ash had that stupid and confused look on his face again. "Pink piggles?"

Brock punched Ash in the face, disgusted at his confused tone of voice, because EVERYONE should know what pink piggles are! With an "Owie!" and a "Why'd ya do that?", Ash took his bowl and promptly smashed it against his cheeks to ease the swelling.

"Pink piggles are the latest craze!" Max explained excitedly. "They eat your shoes!"

All of a sudden there was a KABOOM that shook the whole center, with Team Rocket appearing from the hole in the ceiling they apparently made with a bomb. There was something different about thier debut: they didn't bother with their motto! Instead, they rushed quickly to the table our heroes were sitting at while carrying strange diagrams.

"Here twerp, here are what pink piggles are," Jessie held up one of the kindergarten-like drawings of pink piggles eating shoes. "Pink piggles are pink piggles who eat shoes, like ones that you or I would wear. GET THE PICTURE?"

James then said excitedly, "Cross dressing is fun!"

Before anyone could object to the previous statement, Nurse Joy came out of the emergency room on crutches. She went hop, hop, hop all the way to the group of trainers and rocket grunts. It seemed as if she had no shoes... or feet for that matter. Everybody stared down at her feetless legs in a way that would make you feel like... y'know, like they're being rude or something.

"Ahem!" Nurse Joy pouted at the rudeness of the losers. "Pink piggles ate my feet by accident."

Some said, "Ahh" and "That explains it" while some were laughing maniacally in their heads. Ash had an "Ah-ha" moment and unzipped his book bag to reveal... two sticks. Y'know, like them thar pirates wear matey! Argh!

"Here you go," Ash gave the sticks to Nurse Joy. "Put these on! It'll feel much better!"

James grabbed the sticks away and yelled, "MINE!"

"Hey, what the hell? I'm a nurse for crying out loud!" Nurse Joy promptly cried out loud. "I shouldn't listen to stupid, confused 10 year olds! I want a boyfriend!"

"You can be myyyyy boyfriend!" Giovanni and Meowth said at the same time.

Before anyone could ask why or how the Rocket leader got here unnoticed, James grabbed Nurse Joy and yelled, "MINE!"

Brock jumped up from his seat instantly and succeeded to grab at least one of the poor nurse's limbs. He pulled on it with both his arms wrapped around it in a very possessive way and yelled, "MINE!"

"Grr.. You're ALL wrong! Nurse Joy is MIIIIIIIIIINE!" Max boomed with all his might as he pulled out his trusty bazooka from nowhere.

"No, she's mine!" Pikachu squeaked. "Pika pi pipipipipiiiiiii!"

Everyone looked left and right and up and down and around the room to see who squeaked because... well, it couldn't have been Pikachu, could it? It must've been Meowth. Obviously. Ash then spotted his dear mother (who had the worst luck of conceiving the little bastard) and Professor Oak in the corner of the dining room of the Pokemon Center. It was quite odd and embarrassing, since everyone in the room could hear the couple, no matter how low they whispered.

"Why doesn't anyone love me?" Professor Oak sulked.

"But Samuel, _I love you_," Delia said seductively.

"But you're ugly!" everyone in the room (not including Ash) shouted.

"See, I'm so awesome!" Delia smiled since she never heard them.

"Hmmm, forget everyone here," Giovanni whispered in Prof. Oak's ear, "I can take you away from all of this."

"You're gay?" Oak's eyes widened.

"Yeah!" exclaimed Giovanni. "Like, don't I make, like, the coolest girl eva? Like, I think I totally do..."

"Hey, that's my line!" James retorted while pointing a finger at himself.

"Not anymore." Giovanni grabbed a nearby chair and pointed at James, commanding, "Sit on my lap! Now!"

"I need a boyfriend," declared Nurse Joy. "I'll sit on your lap! Tee hee!"

"B-b-but..." Max's eyes started to swell with tears. "I thought you were my Honey Sugar Top!"

"You must be brain dead. You're 7 years old for crying out loud!" the nurse cried out loud again.

"Does that make you my new mommy?" May said for the first time in this entire crack-fic.

"Well, I married your dad behind your mom's back, so... I guess so."

"What a twist!" Jessie exclaimed.

Everyone glared at the red-head. "We don't like you! Go to hell!"

"Yay! It's very nice down there, you know," Jessie cheered as she clapped her hands.

May, Misty, Ash, and Pikachu were all playing Monopoly in another corner of the room.

"Go fish!" shouted May.

"Now I summon Dark Magician in attack mode!" Yugi shouted, then was quickly and literally kicked out of the game.

"That's not how you play it!" Pikachu squeaked again.

"Yeah, you have to say 'go fish'!" said May.

...

No one commented on the wrongness that was becoming of May. Instead, they completely ignored the coordinator and stared down at the yellow pest.

"You can talk, Pikachu?" Ash asked with a dumbfounded expression.

"Well, yeah, how else am I gonna get a girl or two?" Pikachu shrugged his little shoulders.

"Awww, I was hoping you were a girl!" Ash sobbed with tears flowing like waterfalls.

Misty hugged Pikachu tightly. "Oh, wheeeeee! You're all mine now! Kissy-kissy-kissy!" Then, the Cerulean gym leader licked Pikachu's face.

"Pikachu pi! Not in front of the stupid an ugly family members!" Pikachu blushed.

"Who're you calling 'stupid'?" Ash yelled.

"Who're you calling 'ugly'?" Delia yelled.

"Yessss, just like that." Giovanni said to himself.

"Huh?" James turned his head around to his boss. His eyes widened as he exclaimed, "Sir! Stop that!"

"Wait! This crack-fic isn't very descriptive when it comes to actions!" complained Nurse Joy. She innocently asked, "What's he doing?"

"He's... He's..." Jessie and Meowth stammered with horrified faces. "He's grating cheese on James' back!"

"Hey! You two! Give us some privacy!" Giovanni kicked Jessie and Meowth out of the crack-fic.

"Would you like some cheesy poofs?" Nurse Joy asked randomly.

"That was retarded, like the writer of this crack-fic!" Tracey said.

"This crack-fic is starting to get weird... We have to get rid of more people!" May then yelled out, "Prism Power! Make Up!" as a glorious light surrounded her. It appeared that she transformed into a sailor suited fighter...

"Woooooahoooo! Who's that hot chick with the panties showing?" Brock exclaimed.

"I am Sailor May! And in the name of the Pokemon and awesome sexiness of Drew, I shall punish you!"

"Well hurry up and kick this guy out!" Max yelled while pointing at Giovanni. His face was extremely pale. "He's starting to creep me out... agh."

"I don't feel too good now..." moaned Brock as he clutched his stomach. "Think of hot chicks, think of hot chicks..."

It was time to end this utterly useless story, so Sailor May prepared for her most powerful move... Running towards the Rocket leader, she jumped high into the air so that all could see her hippopotamus panties and yelled out the name of her ultimate move, "Bird Leg of the Teeth!"

Giovanni was literally kicked out of the crack-fic. People could still hear him shouting, "NUUUUUU! I shall get mah reveeeeeeenge! Totally!"

"Yay! We did it!" Ash yelled happily as he stood in his stupid v for victory pose, which he totally copied from Winston Churchill.

"WE? It was only me, stupid!" Sailor May shouted while pointing at herself.

"Now, May, dear," Delia shook her head disbelievingly. "It's not nicey nice to point at people."

...

Not noticing the sense of blood lust coming from the young coordinator, Delia just smiled. May, however, felt a tad bit enraged since she could not handle criticism from anyone. Everyone else ducked for cover since they all knew.

...

You should never criticize a whiny little bitch.

"Kame... hame... HAAAAAAA!" A blue laser beam came from Sailor May's hands as she blasted Delia outta this crack-fic.

"That reminds me," Brock looked around. "Where's Misty and Pikachu?"

"Probably on their honey moon," replied Nurse Joy. "What's a wedding without a honey moon?"

"WHAT?" Max shouted, then asked more calmly, "Since when did Misty and Pikachu have a wedding, my Honey Sugar Top?"

"When Sailor May was kicking people outta this crack-fic." Nurse Joy then warned, "I don't think we should interrupt them. Who knows what they're doing on their honey moon in Ash's house... in his bedroom."

"EWW! Nurse Joy, you're a SICKO!" Ash shouted as he plugged his ears with his hands.

"That's not what I meant!" Nurse Joy yelled back at him. "I meant that they're probably stealing your Super Nintendo or something and have guns and stuff! You'd probably get hurt or something!"

"Oh."

Satisfied with the nurse's lies, Ash laughed in a cheesy way while continuing on his way to whatever the heck the next city is called, while May, Max, and Brock followed like mindless sheep. Team Rocket noticed the bowls of honey covered melted ice cream that the fivesome never finished. They looked to see that Nurse Joy had fallen on the wooden sticks that did not stick to the bottom of her feetless legs, then grabbed the bowls and ran like hell. Meanwhile, Tracey had only one thing to say as a bunch of police officers hauled off Professor Oak to the loony bin while he was yelling, "But I didn't bomb the ceiling! You have to believe me!"

"Well, I better go buy some pink piggles!" Tracey smiled. "I don't want to be the only one without pink piggles! I wanna be cool kid, too, because EVERYONE knows that being cool is so much more important than treating people the way you want to be treated!"

Sadly, he realized that he had no money to buy pink piggles since he does nothing but sketch cheesecake pictures of Officer Jenny.

The End


End file.
